Surrender, Surrender, Surrender
In January 2010 I left the US to manifest a dream I had been working full time on during most of the previous year. I was on my way to Uruguay to establish a campus and attract participants for The Community For Awakening (TCFA). This was a group project some of my friends and I had planned and developed together, and we had all been assured there were two large grants in place to fund. Giaccomo and I left the US with a plan, lots of motivation, and great expectations. But this plan was not to be. Letting go of ego’s dream about it required complete surrender to “what is happening NOW.”
I had sold my house, and Giaccomo and I had packed up and stored all of our material possessions. We flew to Uruguay accompanied by two suitcases each. We did not have the means to go elsewhere nor return to Colorado if things didn’t work out; we didn’t even consider such a possibility. When we learned that the funding grants we expected for our project were a fabrication and not reality, we were faced with the practical aspects of our situation. Now what?
Our first step was to recognize what got us into our current situation, and take responsibility for it. The second was to surrender, give up the dream, assess our current situation, and then come up with a new plan. Japan was not on our radar screen then, so I began offering satsangs in Uruguay, expanded my online offerings, and writing my autobiography: The Masters Messenger— Emergence of an Awakened Channel. I continuously surrendered to “what is,” by using Self Inquiry to question my thoughts while waiting for indications of what life would be bringing us next.
We were (and still are) very grateful for what life did bring us, but cords to that unsuccessful adventure still appear in our awareness six years later. One of them is the “stuff” we left in storage when we headed to Uruguay with the belief that these "can't be without " possessions would soon follow us there in an overseas shipping container. They did not. It all remained in Colorado in two storage units that I have been paying for monthly ever since . . . Surrender.
This month I had the opportunity to visit what remained of this “stuff.” It had been consolidated from two PODS down to one by some folks who sold off the furniture and other large items we were ready to let go of. I continued to dream of recovering some of my favorite clothes and shoes at some point, but when I took the much anticipated side trip to the POD (during this "visit my Grand kids trip"), almost none of the items I had been dreaming of could be found. A friend helped me go through all the boxes that remained, and none of those things I had dreamed of retrieving appeared. Where are they? I may never know, but I also realized that this retrieval dream must also be disposed of since it is not a relevant part of my current reality . . . Surrender.
Life is only what is in our awareness in the present moment. We mistakenly believe that our fantasies are actually happening, but they are only happening in our mind, not in our physical experience. These dreams of desire and expectation are the way ego keeps us out of Presence, so having an opportunity to let go of them is a great gift from our True Self, whether we like it or not. Letting go requires surrender, surrender and even more surrender.
Every time I sit with disappointment, in full surrender, I end up being grateful for another opportunity to let go of that which is still capable of pulling me out of presence.
This process of bringing to awareness . . . surrendering to “what is happening NOW,” and letting go of mind’s desires and fantasies . . . is how we become “empty of personal identity.” This is the way ego releases its control . . . an essential part of the Awakening and deepening process. But even though this process of surrender works whenever we are confronted with our more evident fantasies, it does not necessarily release all of the hidden ones. To let go of the rest of them, we need the benefit of specific opportunities. The easiest and best way I have found to invite these opportunities is to work with The Enneagram.
If you are ready to go into discovery mode concerning what remains imbeded in your unconscious mind (and is holding you back without your knowing it), please join our next Enneagram workshop. It's an essential and exciting tool for uncovering and releasing whatever remains of this hidden "stuff." Sign up soon, this workshop begins November 12, 2016.